If anyone were to ask me what is the greatest irritant to me in modern thinking, the answer would be simple: people cannot concede they are wrong and use the shield of debate to prolong getting to the truth.
The reason for the destructive game is simple: people are raised to think there can only be one “right” answer and having someone with a different life requirement or desire is their opponent in a gladiatorial arena and the competition for supremacy begins.
I blame a lot of that dysfunction on the over-reliance on Patriarchal Storytelling. The hero is always right; ergo, the villain must always be wrong by default. Worse, people do not see their own personal villainy; hence they cast those who disagree as stupid and evil bad guys.
People try to memorize facts as if they were a shield from those who do not want or need the same things the debater wants to shove down their throats.
Yes, there are times when you are absolutely right and the other guy is a total jerk, but not always.
Trying to get what you want and need is a constant battle, but the Patriarchal’s elements often make a bad situation worse if you exclusively use it as your guide because you see yourself as a hunter talking down your enemy.
The Matriarchal structure is about gathering, and characters are soldiers gathering the grains to create the path to victory. That road is not a toll road, meaning it is not a prize to be hoarded, but a structure to progress the world around you. It is not about arguments: it is about simplifying complex interpersonal equations until the outcome is positive, accurate, and balanced.
It is not about rubbing someone’s nose in some unnecessary defeat. It is not about proclaiming to be on the top of some rigged pecking order. It is about making things more functional so people can do better tomorrow than they did yesterday.
It is all about nurturing, not sabotage or oppression.
The Matriarchal story is all about listening and investigating to find common ground, but not in a manipulative or patronizing manner. We are not martyrs swooping down to save people we pity so they will worship us as they see us as flawless. It is about understanding others, making a real contribution to your surroundings as passivity is swapped for action.
The Matriarchal Character is one who is a detective at heart, but also a soldier who brings peace by turning over the rules. He is not following The Art of War or The Prince: he shows those rules to be completely useless as he fights for progress. He tears away masks, paper crowns, scripts, and fortresses of arguments to show first reality, then the truth. But with this action, he is giving all around him, including himself, a precious gift: if the truth sets you free, he gives everyone the gift of freedom. A new option is given, and thus a new path.
The opposers are not treated cruelly: they have a secret friend in the hero who uses the environment as his stage. He shows he is not going to be stopped from forging his own path his own way by gathering grains of wisdom to do it, but if those who wish to be brave and honest wish to come along without expectation of exploiting or stealing the hero’s gains, they are free to come along, try the course later, or learn how to make their own path if they so desire.
Not everyone will, and the hero respects the wishes of others. He stands up for what is right, but it is not a performance: it is what must be done to make a better way. He may be a soldier, but he is one who defies the rules of combat, and that is the reason he is trustworthy and allows readers to open their own paths by letting go of the compulsion to rebuff criticism and advice as they forget about holding eternal grudges that drain the soul as they starve the heart and cloud the mind.